Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Spirit of the Season.

When I was younger, one of my favorite things about Christmas was the lights they would put up going down the main drag here in Yakima. I would go anywhere and do anything that involved going down that street at night, just to see the trees, stars, and snowflakes that accented the light posts and street sign ever so subtly. It would bring me such joy.

These past few Christmases have been weird ones for me. I used to get so unbelievably excited after Thanksgiving. I would count down the days one by one, until that long-awaited morning finally came. I would have so much trouble getting to sleep the night before, then would get up unbearably early. I'd sneak out of my room, look at all the presents that "magically" appeared under the tree, then sneak back into my room to wait for my parents to wake up (which, might I add, would take FOREVER).

Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of the year. Not for the gifts, or the food, or any of that. It's for the simpler things. The decorations, the music (when not in a retail setting), the friends and family, the love.

Still, I don't find myself quite as excited this year. I think it's mostly because this will be the first Christmas without our whole family here. It just doesn't feel right. Change is a part of life, but that doesn't mean it has to be easy to adapt to.

I have been quite excited lately, but for another reason completely. It's not even a very good reason, but it's not like that's ever stopped me before.

I've felt the urge to write lately. Here's what came of it this time:
--------------------------------

My mind is consumed with thoughts.
Memories, dreams, and hopes.
Past, present, and future.
What does it all mean?

Interests have dwindled,
Hobbies taken a back seat
To the everyday rituals and routines,
The tedious tasks of life.

This glimmer of change:
something new,
something different,
It's exciting, really.

Nothing is guaranteed or set in stone.
All that keeps me going is hope.

Oh God,
Dear God,
I hope this is worth it.

The mindless games.
The back-and-forth.
Everything.

It's juvenile, yet invigorating.
But who's to blame?

What will come of it?
Who knows.

Whatever it is, I'll be right here.
Open arms,
Open thoughts,
Open heart.
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Merry Christmas everyone.
Make the most of it. :)

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